The colour of me

Yup guys..that was really suckin me up..
like 4 days ago..nay ma temen2 ke ciwalk, that was after nihon no matsuri festival..baru mau masuk tempat parkir, motor nay udah dicurigain ma mas2 penjaganya..doi bilang "motor ni dah pernah masuk sini sebelumnya ya??"..nay dalem ati ("ya iya lah..gak udik2 banget kalee gw ,ky ga pernah ke ciwalk..)..trus jwabnya "motor ini belum keluar dari sini mbak"..(nay : "loh, gimana sih maksutnya///kan emang baru masuk ya belum keluar, ngebet banget baru masuk dah disuruh keluar..0
Ternyata eh punya ternyata…
motor nay belum keluar dari "SUn parking" (company work as a parking service in ciwalk)..dari semenjak 5 hari yang laluw..
Okeh..akhirnya nay ga ambil pusing, cuek2 aja ma temen2 naek ke 21 nya ciwalk..truzz mendapati udah tutup 21 nya..wakakak, semuanya pada ketawa kesel gitu..
ya udah deh, setelah dirembug2, kita mo keluar aja dari ciwalk baru melanjutkan perjalanan, hehee..
(in term of ketemu mas-mas sun parking tadi..)
mbak, total fee dari motor mbak Rp 127.500,00
huwah????(nay dalem ati syok berat, gila cing, parkir pesawat kali ya 100 rebeng)
mas2 nya : iya mbak ni kecatetnya 168 jam 24 menit
huwahh huwahh??? (nay makin syok, motorku betah amat arwahnya nginep di ciwalk, padahal dah aq bawa kemana2)
usut punya usut…
nay waktu itu exactly 30 nov 2007, 9pm, entering ciwalk parking..trus malemnya selang beberapa jam tuh motor mau dipindah(in order to get cheaper fee outside), yang mindahin itu temen nay yang dengan seenaknya nyelonong ga bayar parkir (pantes aja waktu itu doi laporan "nay parkirnya gratis", nay dengan bodohnya juga cuma mikir oohhh..takut kali ya ngliat temen nay yang bentuknya ga jelas itu (maap ya sir..) jadinya digratisin) ternyata itu tiket masih belum terhapus..
nay udah pengorbanan mpe titik darah terakhir, masuk2 gang yang bentuknya kayak gang-gang di sarkem (red:jogja’s saritem), ternyata ga bisa juga..
yah pasrah deh…jadi nay mau ga mau harus bayar Rp 127.500,00..
yasu lah..tapi nay masih punya harapan tuh..
Keesokan harinya, nay cerita ma si victims (temen nay yang nyelonong aja ngeluarin motorkuw)..udah cerita panjang lebar, penuh semangat, doi cuma nanggepin "trus nay, maksutmuw cerita ke aku apa ya???" (guBraKzzz..huwaaaaa, kok ada orang kayak gini lulus tes stt telkom) yaudah lah, mang udah garis hidupku, hehehe..
tapi nay masih beruntung banget ..since ;
1. aku maen ke ciwalk ga tahun depan (pasti nay jual diri deh, demi nebus motor,hiks hiks)
2. feenya ga nyampe $50 plus reducing time of driving lisence plus sidang di court (nasib nay ma bryan pasca mo nonton ‘333", march 2006)
3. jadi belajar lebih sabar, plus beruntung punya temen2 yang rela membantu mengorbankan semangat nay lagi, hehehe

yah, gitu deh kisahnya 127.500..buat mbak asti, maap nay ga punya 127 foto baru buat di upload, heheehe

KapanLagi.com - Patah hati itu sakit, terlebih jika
kehilangan kekasih yang dicintai. Kondisi pun akan semakin tragis jika
rasa sakit mulai menyerang badan, bisa jadi usia akan jadi lebih
pendek. Ga percaya? Sebuah studi yang dilakukan Universitas Glasgow,
Skotlandia, dan dilaporkan BBC, Kamis (26/04), mencoba menganalisa hal
tersebut.

Menurut peneliti yang menganalisa 4000 pasangan
menyebutkan, mereka yang patah hati ditinggal kekasih cenderung lebih
merana, tertekan, dan mengalami kecemasan yang berlebihan, terutama
pada mereka yang berstatus janda atau duda.

Pasangan yang saling
mencintai terbiasa hidup tergantung dengan pasangan, dan saat pasangan
mereka meninggal, kekosongan dan rasa kehilangan membuat mereka merana
dan cenderung mengubah gaya hidup serta menganut perilaku pola makan
tak sehat.

Studi yang dimulai tahun 1970an dan diterbitkan Jurnal
Epidemiologi dan Kesehatan Masyarakat, ini menganalisa pasangan menikah
dengan kisaran usia 45 sampai 64 tahun.

Peneliti mencatat salah
salah satu dari pasangan yang meninggal dan melihat reaksi dari
pasangan yang ditinggalkan sampai pada tahun 2004. Hasilnya, wanita dua
kali mengalami masa sulit saat ditinggal suaminya.

Tingkat
kematian karena berbagai hal cenderung meningkat pada enam bulan
pertama sejak pasangan meninggal dan resiko gangguan jantung naik pada
lima tahun pertama begitu juga tekanan darah. Hal ini terjadi karena
perubahan gaya hidup dan kebiasaan merokok semakin menjadi-jadi, karena
faktor kesepian.

"Ini hanya tentang bagaimana mereka yang
ditinggalkan pasangan bisa mengatasi kesepian. Dalam analisa kita
sebagian besar responden mengaku merana setelah berpulangnya pasangan
mereka," papar Cathy Ross, pemimpin studi dari British Heart Foundation.

Sementara Stewart Wilson,
konseling dari Cruse Bereavement Care mengatakan: "Saat pasangan telah
menjalani hidup bersama selama bertahun-tahun, dan kemudian berakhir
pada suatu waktu yang mendadak, otomatis selalu ada perubahan yang
menyertai kehilangan itu. Depresi, stres, dan kecemasan yang berlebihan
menuntun mereka untuk hidup tak sehat."

"Beberapa orang
cenderung berperilaku tak sehat, merokok berlebihan dan mengkonsumsi
makanan tak sehat. Proses menjalani masa berkabung dan kehilangan
itulah yang membuat seseorang menjadi sembrono dengan kesehatan
mereka," tambah Ross yang memberikan contoh pasangan penyanyi June Carter Cash dan Johnny Cash dalam laporan studinya. (bbc/rit)

So…ga jatuh cinta..ga patah hati khan???

or should we?

Emang ada ya mama yang jahat ma anaknya?
tadi siang waktu nay di kantin…
we have a talk..me and some of my girl friends..

ada yang bilang mamanya jahat, selalu galak ma dia..
ada yang bilang mamanya ga pernah bisa merhatiin..
ada yang bilang mamanya selalu ngelarang dia begini begitu..

tapi ada juga mama yang terlalu perhatian..
yang selalu nelpon dan pengen tahu
kemana aja anaknya dolan seharian
yang selalu mbatesin waktu dan teman maen

dan mereka yang berfikir demikian (red* = too linguistic)
swear GOD that soon mereka harus nunjukkin
bahwa mereka bukan anak kecil..
bahwa mereka selalu ingin pergi tanpa dilarang2..

And my mommy..
sometimes sedih juga kalo inget mama yang sibuk banget yang juarang banget nelpon anaknya kalo ga di-sms duluan..
tapi mama selalu bilang "you always be in my prayer and my hope"..
hampir tiap kali aq dilarang (bahasa orang tua=dinasehatin) buat maen ato ngelakuin hal tertentu..
it suck sometimes, but thats how life is running..
dan tiap kali aq ngebantah, mama malah bilang "emang susah ngomong ma anak jaman sekarang"..dan kita bedua malah jadi ketawa ngakak..

for me, mom is the greatest person GOD gave me..
dia selalu tahu tindakan yang tepat buat anaknya..
karena dia udah pernah jadi anak..
tapi kita belum pernah jadi mama..
dn mungkin hal itu yang paling sulit buat kita sadarin..

bentar banget ga ada satu hare..

mama monya di ugm, ayah mo nya di ui, kkakku mo nya di stt telkom,

sebenernya yang mo kuliah tu sapa ya..

atau itu saran yang baik yang harus diturutin?

so please God just show me the right way where i should start my future..

got really confused..\so confused, sometimes i wish i didn’t do there for a year coz its totally ruin my mind.

have so much different things to think about, just got a lot of different things to be missed about.

hey, and me, in my senior year..need to decide as soon as possible what kind of major i wanna take next year, but its more than that, it means changing my entire life..cuz i dont feel to waste some of my years in college and just get nothing really mean anything in my next life.

God, please help me, and for some of my friend, i really need to read your guys news how to come back again being the part of what we used to be in..

in INDONESIA, YoGYAKarTa..
merasa terhilang..di antara rumpun dedaunan, dan penuhnya bebatuan..
Inay tersesat..merasa tidak ada teman, walupun hari ini bertemu dengan semua teman2 lama..
AKu baru saja pulang, memang ada sesuatu yang baru, yang satu tahun sempat mereka lewatkan termasuk aku yang tidak menyadari..
tetapi begitulah, masih mengharapkan untuk2 lagi2 dapat terbangun dan beradaptasi kembali. Jatuh dan tetap tersenyum, mengatakan aku baIK-BAIK sja!!
p.s : untuk teman2 exchange student ku..ayo berjuang..

Gosh , i am finally home, but yeah, i still having a hard time to remember what should i do, or what should i say when i am around people that i used to be..

And God, please help me forget him, it just such a hard work to at least not to remember his face. There was one day when we just talk and cry for hours on the phone, but we can do anything further. I think this synchronization he sent me is kinda great..at least i need to remember that’s all i got for my year,need to be strong as an Indonesian girl and just open my new year here..

~What did he wrote when i asked him to give me a clue what should we do next~

Anywho, about us i think we should have no regrets about anything…
i think we should take the situation as it is…
I like you…
you like me…
I live in Colorado…
you live in Indonesia….
I’m Christian…
Your Muslim…
I super duper miss you and think about you all the time…
You seem to feel the same…
Ive never felt the same way about anyone before…
you say that you feel you are in love…
I dont realy know what that means….
Its kinda hard to talk about….
we cant see each other…
but we cant stop talking to each other…
mabey some day we’ll see each other but not any time soon…
not soon at all…
like years…
a lot will change in the next couple years…
we will never be the same…
but we both want to be happy….
not sad…
not mad…
just happy…
we live our lives…
never forgeting all the good times….
all the things we learned…
praying always…
just trying to be happy without each other…

~eggroll~

okay, finally he said that..
It was so sad, it just really really sad, we only have 5 more days together, and i can not do anything to make it feels better..i know we will miss each other when i am back..
But, i hope it wasn’t bogus, when i go home, i still have ary that was hurting me too, i did love him a loooot, but after his affair, that "hurts" feeling was just feel like scared me the whole time..
i do not know which one to choose, i know i am greedy and can not make a good decission in a short period of time, but yeah, i love both of em, the problem is i can’t  even stand with neither one of em, and i just not quite sure whether my life will getting better when i am with them..
God, please show me what should i do..

Okay, so i am working again and again and again without being padi for my host mom school..i have workd for 2 weeks, 11 hours a day, 5 days a week, and this weekend i need to work in the booth that they set up in taste of fort collins festival, Well..it wasn’t that hard for me to give a whole bunch of flyer and asking people to come by and sign up for a 1 month free class. But it was so funny cuz we ( me and Bryan) doing it together and no one take the flyer from him..And he is just give up..
We were having so much fun on the festival, buying a $12 smoothies for 2 but it was really good, taste a lot of food, until taking a picture with painted car, and get paint all over my shirt..
And he was just so sweet yesterday, we were making a necklace from the noodle company and it was a booth for little kid, but rhea my sister (14 year old) wanna have one of those, so we just come by and i ask him to make one, we made it, and he gave his to me, his necklace was just using two kind of noodle arrange continously but it was so cute..and whenever we are trying to put it on my neck it just keep breaking and all the noodles go everywhere, and he almost gave up, but i keep asking him to arrange it again..
I love festival….and him..

huaaaaa….He can’t drive anymore…
Okay, so yesterday was a really really bad day for us..We was planning for watching the Omen that start at 1 40 but then rhea checked it latter on, and it was 1 20..Anyway, i was calling B~ and he was so freak out..That was 1 o clock and his house was like 20 minute away from my mom’s school.
Finally he called me on the way that he got cut by the police cuz he was speeding and ignore the red light and almost killed a child that crossing the street..I told him it’s gonna be fine if we are late..But anyway, he got 4 more points that means he can’t drive anymore till he is 18 which is next year. And, he need to pay $235, which we already planned we won’t work this summer cuz its one more month left..
And we ended up going to the cinema and that is the first time he was so grumpy, and i can’t think of any jokes..we come there, and we CAN"T WATCH THE MOVIE..cuz we are not 18 yet, and its a rated R movie, that we need to be 18 to by my host sist a ticket..
gosh, that was just a bad day..